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music galore [17 Sep 2006|05:54pm]
[ mood | good ]

well this weekend was fun for me
I ended up having to work on Sat but its ok
lets see...
Thurs nite I went with Lana and Andy to Music in the Park
we saw the band Space Rangers
our friend Abby is the lead singer
it was a lot of fun
except Lana and I got tired and cold,
so we left before the set was over

Friday nite I met up with Andrew
we grabbed some food from the Acoustic
then went to campus to see the Daredevil Christopher Wright
Liz and Lindsay found us a few songs into it
After that we all went to the Acoustic where there was more live music
some funky bluegrass band
Liz, Andrew, and myself all had Turtle mochas - yuummm
Then we dropped the girls off and Andrew and I went to Stones Throw
we saw Chinese Fingertrap play the opening set
they had an amazing sax player - very cool
then Fat Maw Rooney took the stage
I must admit - there was better than what people said
I feel horrible saying this.... but ....
I got tired... so Andrew and I left about 5 songs into it
I just couldn't keep my eyes open
sad... I know.

next weekend my friend Jorma might come up
there's this band, Hooch, playing on Sat nite.
we might go check it out

tomorrow its back to work
only important thing on the schedule
a dentist app on Wed
woot woot

well friends. respond at will
love you guys!

1 comment|post comment

back at it [13 Sep 2006|07:02pm]
[ mood | happy ]

well I added a different picture to my last blog... 
hopefully you can see that one
Jaycers is the cutest little boy.
I may put another one up of him.

I'm back at work.
the weekend was ok
I did end up getting into some trouble
the only good thing that came out of it was
I was able to see an old friend
we spent a good portion of Sat nite talking
and we've kept talking, even though I'm back in EC
he might come up to visit me
I am really happy to have him back in my life
he is someone I really care about

work is going ok.
I'm pulling 11 hour days
for the fun of it.
hahaha just kidding

I did run into some issues with an ex
I'll not name names...
but I'm getting very tired of games
I know that life isn't fair
but what I'm having to deal with right now...
I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

ok... here I'll give you one more pic of the cutest boy!

3 comments|post comment

what a long time away [06 Sep 2006|06:18pm]
[ mood | calm ]

well it has been a long time since I've blogged.
my life has been incredibly busy
this summer has gone by so fast - I can't believe its Sept already
where did the time go?
I feel like all I did was work
minus a few trips here and there on the weekends
nothing too spectacular

what is new in my life....
well I am single
its a good thing to be right now
this last relationship was a doozy
I knew it going into it
though no matter what happens...
there is one little boy I'll love forever
maybe I'll post up a pic

I dont know what else to say
working a full-time job
we were at 48 hours a week
but just recently found out we're down to 44 hours
the paychecks were nice but not a lot of freetime
it was ok though
the other half was working some long hours as well
so it was normal to only see each other at dinner

my girls are moved up for the school year
its been fun having them around
girls my own age who are fun!

well I should end this... here's a pic of my Jaycers.

there I hope this picture works!

2 comments|post comment

mi hermana [21 Mar 2006|05:23pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I love my sis
no matter what's going on
I know she is there for me
always ready to make me laugh
take today for example
we were chatting about our Mema
(my mom's mom)
giggling about her silly "grandma rules"
like no washing your hair in the shower
you have to wash it in the sink, after the shower
b/c it will clog the shower drain
but not the sink drain
weird, we know!
so my sis says this hilarious line
I'm still giggling, and its been a couple hours.
she says to me:
"I just wasnt graceful...
I like to think of myself as a colt - jolting around."
the mental picture has my cheeks hurting!
Everyone in my family knows,
Mandy wasn't blessed with athletic coordination
to spite my father, an avid athlete,
she went out for cheerleading.
that's my sis!
always making me laugh
especially when I need it most!

te amo mucho mi mejor hermana!

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stretching. [16 Mar 2006|04:56pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

stretching is good for you
good for your body
good for your mind
I am stretching in a lot of ways lately
especially with my faith
where I'm at isn't the most lively place to be a Christian
all the churches are the same
be it Lutheran, Catholic, Evangelical, etc
I crave a change
my soul is yearning for a refreshment
my heart is crying out for a touch
some breath of life
from the Giver of life

so I'm stretching
b/c if those around me aren't seeking
then I shall seek elsewhere
God is here
we just have to find Him

I had a couple nites
where I let myself regress
had some "worldy fun"
it left me feeling even more empty
the world can't fill my void
only Jesus
everday, at my job at the daycare,
I pour love into "my" kids
they need that love
that attention
but how can I keep giving
when I'm not receiving
I need to tap in
to where God is
so please pray for me
that God will show me where to go
be it a church, a Bible study group, or my own bedroom
"oh God let us be,
a generation that seeks
seeks Your face
Ohh God of Jacob"

love you all! 
thanks for being there for me!

1 comment|post comment

sleep [07 Mar 2006|05:11pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

I was finally able to get something I really needed
~ sleep ~
I slept so many hours this weekend
it was long overdue though.
I've needed to rest for quiet some time
for the past couple of months,
I've been under a lot of stress
mostly self-inflicted.
though things in my life are looking up
there are still things that make me sad
parts of my life I can't seem to change
decisions I made
that I can't reverse
bridges I've burned
that can't be re-built
I don't like hurting people
and I hurt someone I cared deeply for
how can I be a good person?
why should I be seen as someone positive?
look at what I did.
my actions speak louder than anybody's words
2 words - I'm sorry
but it's not enough
it cant undo
it cant mend wounds
it cant heal hurts
how can I ever be at peace with myself?
I hate having people dislike me
but this time, I deserve it.
thats why I put myself through it
I hurt someone who truly loved me
so I deserved to be hurt back
therefore I let myself be hurt by those who love him
I took their glares
I held my tears
I agreed with their accusations
I took all of their anger
b/c I deserved it.

I wish life were simpler.
not so many twists and bends

thanks for reading. 
at times, venting is good for the soul.

2 comments|post comment

in like a lion... [01 Mar 2006|02:56pm]
[ mood | tired ]

so march is here.
weird that its the 3rd month of the year already.
I have a good weekend home
mom emailed me today
Luke's bball team lost last nite
by 2 points.
I know my bro is sad the season's over
I'm gonna call him later.
I miss that kid sometimes.

I'm feeling kinda under the weather.
I was able to catch up on some sleep today
working at the new job has proved entertaining
I really do like it there
I think I may up my hours soon.
Still waiting to hear back from the other grad programs
mom said that I need to pray
and call forth the school I want to go to
that God needs me to speak it first
before He can make it happen
thats why He gave us a free will.
So I have been claiming UW-Eau Claire
as my graduate school for ComDis
PTL - God is faithful

new news...
umm... I don't think there really is anything new
I had a good birthday - kinda
some friends and I went out to a few bars
prolly not my best choice
I'm still alive, no one went to jail
or the hospital
dinner was the best part though
again - if I can find a scanner that works
I'll put up pics from dinner
I was treated to Olive Garden and Coldstone
Matt, Jayce, Liz and I all went out to eat
Jayce ended up wearing most of his dinner
but we got some cute pics from it!

well kiddos
I'm gonna end it.
Wiz is here with me now
I think we're gonna leave soon
go... somewhere... cool... maybe.
ok. bye.

1 comment|post comment

a game to remember [25 Feb 2006|02:23pm]
so I'm down at my parents for the weekend
last nite was my younger bro's
last varsity conference bball game
it was an exciting game, all the way to the end
I, fortunately, got most of it on tape
lets just say
my bro is an awesome player
he ended up high scorer,
with 15 points
he also made a clutch shot with 17 seconds left
giving his team the lead by 1 point
they ended up winning by 1 point
thanks to Luke's basket
it was crazy!
everyone went nuts
I jumped up, but was able to keep control
so the camera wasn't *too* wobbly

tonite we are going to the girls bball game
should be a good one also
we may go out for dinner before
celebrate my birthday
I'm going to do an interview today
for my documentary
tomorrow, hopefully, I'll get 2 done
then I'm heading back to EC
with Wizzer
I miss 2 boys.
one tall, one little.

I miss the old Switchfoot
just thought I'd throw that out there
for those of you out there who know them
I suggest you go find and purchase
Legend of Chin
Learning to Breathe
New Way to Be Human
now *those* cd's is truly Switchfoot

later ya'lls. I got stuff to do. bye.
3 comments|post comment

loaded gun [21 Feb 2006|03:40pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

Wiz is sitting next to me
she's listening to the radio
that "loaded gun" song was on
now the most infuriating song ever created is on
you guessed it
the lyrical genius of
the black eyed peas
someone should do us all a favor
and shoot them
especially the Ferbie chick
how annoying is she?
(and yes, I know her name is Fergie)
"my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump"
she REPEATS the same dang thing 4 TIMES
tell me how that delegates critical thought
where the heck is the deep meaning
and philosophical brilliance?
I'll tell you where
no where near the Black Eyed Peas
someone pass me a barf bag, please.
enough of dogging on those who cannot think for themselves
I do miss the days when songs meant something
back when every issue was hashed out between notes
when kids like Rage Against the Machine
gave us a voice
or when songs were about the significance of peoples problems
not about how much booty to shake.

I'm turning 23 in 2 days.
woot woot.
so far, nothing is planned.
well I shouldn't say that
I think dinner plans have been made
by a certain male friend
that should be fun.

I received a letter from UW-Eau Claire graduate program
informing me that I have been "wait-listed"
so... now I sit and wait to see if I move up the list
I still havent heard back from River Falls of Moorehead
I'm kind of hoping to stay in EC though
It would be scary to relocate by myself
though if I were to go to RF
I'm pretty sure I could live with Kendra (maybe)

so... I'm gonna end this update.
until there's more to update about.
peace out kids.

3 comments|post comment

Vday tomorrow [13 Feb 2006|12:49pm]
[ mood | excited ]

so tomorrow is Valentines Day.
I guess I should be honest.
I have a date tomorrow nite
dinner and a movie
I'm quite excited.
my first date since... well... you know.

Maybe I'll take some pics
and post them on here.
I still have to upload the pics
from my roadtrip weekend
to MO to see my sis
it was a lot of fun!
it was a ton of driving
but my companions were fun!

that's about all for right now
I'm looking forward to my
Valentines date.

later kids.

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its that smell [13 Jan 2006|12:30pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

Brian smells good
really good
the kind of good that needs to be bottled
sold to the masses
I would make millions
ohh if only everyone could smell him
its a smell that I cant even describe
Brian smells good

we are heading to Cushing WI
the home of ... a bar.
I'm not sure what else is in Cushing
oh wait... there is a church
and let me correct myself
two (2) bars, not one. my bad

I plan on winning a Tuck tournament
mainly against Brian
since he thinks he can beat me
but has yet to be successful
I win - always. every time.
thats just how it is.

ok beautiful bloggers
Im off the *wilds* of WI
wish me luck, not for Tuck,
I dont need luck for that
you dont need luck when you're ...


1 comment|post comment

a college graduate - almost [20 Dec 2005|01:10pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

So this past weekend I had my graduation ceremony.
It was exciting and filled me with joy
my whole family came
Brian's family was here too, minus Matt who is still at school
my sister-in-law gave a little yell when I walked across the stage
that made me smile
we all went to dinner afterwards, well way later actually
we had a great time
the families getting to know each other
we then went to the hotel to settle down
I did my moms interview
and I also go my little brothers too
it was hard to sit there and tape my mom
hearing what she was saying
watching her cry as she recounted memories
and trying to stay objective and get "the best shot"
we had to stop filming a few times
but we got through it
and it turned out great!

life is a little hectic right now
the holidays are upon us
I'm trying to get my shopping done
especially for Brian's stuff
while he's gone to army these few days
I'm also doing a lot of thinking
especially about my future
praying that the path I'm on is the right one
its hard to put your trust in the Lord every day
I love to lead my own life
surrendering it to Him is a struggle
I just hope that I am able to follow His path.

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is it really almost over? [13 Dec 2005|09:36am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

It seems to me that I can't find time to breathe
its Tuesday, not that important of a day, right
wrong - it means that I only have 4 days until I graduate
is it ok to be a little nervous?
I have all these worries
mostly concerning my documentary
will I still be able to use school equipment?
how am I going to get it done by April?

Brian says I can't stress about stuff anymore
I wish it were the simple
he told me this week is off-limits to wedding stuff
so no planning, no setting up app.s, no worrying
which just means, I'm delaying it
b/c eventually it will have to be dealt with
I wish there was just a "how-to" kit for weddings
I'm not the most creative person ever...

I'm very excited my family will be here this weekend
I miss my mom a lot
I wish I could just go home for a week straight
how fun would that be?
to sit at home with my mom and sister, like we used to
watching Rigiletto and crying our eyes out
or laughing til we cry in the kitchen
I miss my mom and my sister

Brian's dad wants to know what I want for Christmas
how do you put - a completely paid for wedding - on a Christmas list?
all the things I need aren't exactly "list material"
I need to finish the documentary
I need to apply to grad school
I need to find a temp. full-time job
I need to get health insurance
I need a lot of things that I can't ask for

Lord give me peace.
Help me to find patience
give me Your comfort
and help guide me through this time

cheery comments would be appreciated!

2 comments|post comment

gradation to holidays [07 Dec 2005|10:04pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

10 days til I graduate!
I can't even believe it
there is still so much I have to get done
now my entire family and Brian's family are coming
we have hotels booked
now we need to find a restaurant.
I'm excited to see everyone

I don't know what I'm going to do once school is done
hopefully be able to take a breath
I just feel so overwhelmed lately
Brian and I met with a florist today
she was very helpful
tomorrow we have 2 apps with 2 other florists
we're finally looking into a DJ
still trying to price them out

man I wish money grew on trees

I don't know what will happen for Christmas
I know most likely I'll have to work that weekend
I'm hoping to get Dec 31st off
that is my family's Christmas
in Jan is Brian's mom's side's Christmas
hopefully by then I'll be in my new job

things are going well here
I miss all my friends who are all spread out
Tomorrow nite is a Falling Up concert
I was planning on going with Padao
but now I don't know if I can
money is tight
I can't really afford to spend the money on gas
sweet Padao, she offered to pay my gas home
I love her so much
mostly I want to go so that I can see her
I miss her a lot
last time I saw her was in May - I think
I'll let you know what happens

thats all for now kiddos
oh Johnathon, Brian's friends' son, I guess he calls me
"my Jenna"
such a cutie that Johnathon. He'll make one handsome ring bearer!

good nite!

1 comment|post comment

a weekend of closure [13 Nov 2005|09:52pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Just another desperation....

sometimes thats what my life feels like
this weekend was filled with sadness
many tears were shed
as my family said their goodbyes
it broke my heart
and shattered my soul
to see my grandparents weep
over the loss of their firstborn
to see the pain and sorrow
on the faces of my relatives
to gaze upon the multitude of floral arrangements
and finally
to know this is what they call pain

I ask for your prayers
not for my aunt
she is in heaven
with our Savior
but for my family
that Jesus will comfort us
during this time of loss
that His hand will guide us
and will give us His peace
a peace that passes all understanding

my next entry will be a bit more cheerful
I'll post pictures from Up North
we have some cute ones of us with my little cousins
Brian's little shadow, my youngest cousin Mason
until then...

1 comment|post comment

a sad week indeed [10 Nov 2005|09:43am]
[ mood | grateful ]

So this past weekend was ok.
Brian and I went to see my aunt
I'm glad we got the chance
She passed away on Tues nite
the funeral is this weekend
I'm picking my sister up from the airport
on Fri, then Brian her and I are headed up north.
I'm very thankful I got the chance
to say goodbye to her
I was able to get closure
I know she is in a better place
Jesus will take away all her pain
and she will live forever in heaven!
(is it weird to be envious?)
if I had to choose
you bet your bottom I'd choose heaven over earth.

I had an interesting conversation last nite
my soon to be father-in-law
asked me if I would go hunting with all the guys
he told me I could sit with him in the woods
and that next year he'll take me target practicing
and he'll even find me a gun to use
Brian thought it was great!
he said his dad has never asked any of his old gf's to go
he said "this proves that my dad loves you"
I really like Brian's dad
him and I can sit and chat on the phone for hours
he really wants me to come to Cushing next weekend
so hopefully I can find a way there
I have a conference in the cities that weekend
but I'll be done by Sat afternoon

nothing new is really going on
Brian might get deployed
not to Iraq, thank goodness
he might go down south
and help with hurrican relief
the drawback - he could be gone 2 months
2 whole months that I may not see him
I'll miss him like crazy
but I know this is something he wants to do
so I support him 100%

thats the update kids - I know you were all waiting for it!
hope everyone has a great weekend
comment if you'd like
it makes me feel special!

5 comments|post comment

a weekend of celebration [31 Oct 2005|11:20am]
[ mood | loved ]

So this weekend Brian and I celebrated 6 months.
We went out for dinner
at this amazing restaurant on Lake Wissota
then headed to one of his favorite bars
Happy Hollow
to chat with some of his friends
then we headed home
I was talking to the neighbor girls
when Brian came over with 20 pink roses!
he is such an amazing guy.

I wonder who all reads this...
it is a public journal
I wonder what kind of people
stumble upon it....
I wonder if people just come on here
to find out things about me
not really caring to know the *real* me
just wanting to "something".

I ask all my friends who read this
please pray for Brian and I.
"If God is for us, who can be against us?"
I'll tell you who - our advisary, the devil
he doesnt want to see anything of God's work out
especially a relationship based on the love of Christ
where truth and honesty are the foundation.

A friend showed me an intersting quote the other nite
something about how most men don't strive to find the "best" women
they settle for those that aren't hard to get.
I thank Jesus every day that Brian didn't "settle"
and that him and I are both rewarded
in that we both received "the best of the best"
the best that God had to offer
He gave us each other.

2 comments|post comment

susyhomemaker... kinda [25 Oct 2005|10:04am]
[ mood | calm ]

So this past weekend I acquired a new nickname
thanks Brian...
he lovingly refers to me as
Susy Homemaker
only b/c on the drive home from Cushing
I worked on my crotcheting.
hey! I need to practice
I have like 7 scarfs I need to make for Christmas

This weekend is our 6 month anniversary
I'm excited.
Brian is planning something for it
It will be nice to go out just the 2 of us
I hope we go to a really nice place for dinner
I would love to just sit and talk all nite with him
We always have so much fun together
no matter where we are
he asked me the other day
how after 6 months we still get along so well
I told him its b/c we don't keep anything from each other
and if we fight, we get it out and get over it
plus he is way gorgeous!
how could I not want to be with him every day?

ok enough with the mushy stuff... for now

The sermon on Sunday at Brian's church
was really good
The pastor had some really good insight
and ironically
the message was on THE GOSPELS
and last time I posted how
I had heard a good sermon on the Gospels
then I hear another one
I think God is trying to tell me something
definitely something to pray about
The other nite I read a few chapters in Esther
Reading it made me realize something
Esther is an awesome woman
she had to be willing to die
in order to save her people
the King made a decree
to have all the Jews killed
on the 13th day of the 12th month
if Esther approaced the king
without invitation
she could be put to death
even though she is the queen.... weird.
That show's me that
even through the most difficult challenges,
God is there with us
Esther must have been thinking
"heck no I'm not going before the king,
I could die people!"
but she obeyed God
and He made everything right
that's how amazing our God is
He KNOWS everything
nothing is ever going to surprise Him
God will never look at us and say
"oh wait! I didn't see that coming..."
Why be fearful of the future?
God already knows the outcome

ok enough preaching.
though I would advise you kids
to go read through Esther
amazing woman that Esther

I'll write more later!
love - me

4 comments|post comment

such and such [21 Oct 2005|02:36pm]
[ mood | good ]

so last nite was interesting.
My sister went to a Falling Up show.
We were joking around about how she should
windmill kick Jessy in the face
She called me while she was at the show
She said she couldn't be mean to Jessy
Apparently he came up to her before the show
and said "hey don't I know you?"
and Mandy said "nope, you know my sister"
and Jessy said "Oh yea, she lives in MN"
and Mandy said "No, she lives in WI, Padao lives in MN"
and then I guess he said told her that they knew Padao and I weren't at the show last month.
Now I *almost* feel bad.
Padao and I decided that we'll go see them in Dec

Tonite, after I get done with work
Brian and I are heading to Cushing
I'm excited!
Every Sun Brian and I go to his grandparents
His grandma makes the best breakfast!
We also go to church with them!

So I will update after this weekend
I think Sat nite we are going out with Brian's friends.

Later kids!

1 comment|post comment

a great weekend home [10 Oct 2005|11:45am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

So this weekend, Brian and I went home to my parents. It turned out to be a great Fall weekend, weather-wise. My extended family was all down on Sat for my cousin Mike's 30th bday party. So we got to tell the news to all of them. Then on Sat my mom and I went to David's Bridal. We found the dress! It was such a God thing! The dress is really hard to sell b/c it's insanely difficult to hem or alter. All the ladies that were working came to see me in it, plus offer suggestions. The other simply amazing thing (PTL) is that the dress was on sale! Another deal was that if we purchased it we could get everything else for 15% off. All the accessories! the veils (b/c I'm getting 2), the slips (again getting 2), the shoes, the bra, and the tiara - all were 15% off! God is good.

well I need to go, I know this is a smaller entry but I'm just so thankful for how God has taken care of me and shows me every day the magnitude of His love for me! Its never-ending!

love - me

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